wasn't planning on crying this morning...

Every one has those days (especially in Provo for some reason?) where life just seems to weigh you down. Usually there's not a huge reason or specific event that makes me feel this way its just life in general. You're stressed about a test, worried about a sibling, boys are driving you CRAZY, you forgot to turn in a hw assignment, someone stole your parking spot, or you don't have milk for your cereal...the list could go on right? These are all stupid little things but some days they just put you over the edge! But today was not one of those days. I was having a pretty good morning. I surprisingly enjoyed the snow that I woke up to, got a little more sleep than normal, had an excuse to wear my uggs, AND found some really good music..which always makes me happy.

But  as I did my usual morning facebook check (why is it so addicting?), I had a HUGE wake up call. One of my best friend's old roommates, hopefully that made sense, had a status that just completely ripped my heart out. I have met her numerous times but really don't know her that well but through my best friend I found out that this past summer she lost her baby sister to cancer. I had heard that she had a sister that was sick but it wasn't until recently I found out that she had passed away.

Her status today was just merely saying how much she missed her sister and thought about her every day. One click led to another and I found myself reading her mother's blog about her daughter, found here. I read of her sister's story and the many experiences their family went through and I just started crying. This cute family lost their beautiful 13-yr old daughter and here I am having an occasional bad day, feeling sorry for myself over things that truly don't really matter.

I was completely moved by their story. It made me realize how selfish and consumed I get in MY life and just how there are so many people who go through these HARD, horrible things that you don't even know about. It doesn't seem fair. This family's just supposed to move on and live their life without someone who is so important to them. They have every reason to give up and be angry at the world and every one it but they keep going. They keep living. They have faith that everything will be ok.

They had days, I'm sure, that were not easy but have found light in our Savior and loving Heavenly Father and know that this life isn't the end. My heart just goes out to this family. I cannot even begin to try and imagine what they are going through but I know with Heavenly Father's help they will feel peace, love, and comfort that they can find in no other way.

I just was very humbled this morning and realized how blessed I am. I have so many wonderful people in my life that are so wonderful that I take for granted. I have so much to be happy about. I realized how I need to be doing so much more in my life for other people. I have been looking at everyone I pass today wondering what they are going through. Wondering what they are thinking about, what they are worried about, what makes them happy, what are they passionate about, what makes them laugh, what makes them angry, what is stressing them out, what's bringing them down, what keeps them going?? 

Every one has a story. We usually don't know what people are going through but we can do our part by loving everyone and doing more for them. It just hit me so hard today of how beautiful people are and how everyone is a child of God. EVERYONE on this earth was important enough for a Savior to suffer and die for us all. I want to do more to make people happy and feel loved because the sacrifice Christ made for all of us.  Our Heavenly Father loves us more then we can comprehend. He knows us personally. He knows the details in our lives and truly wants us to be happy. 

Sometimes horrible things happen in life. scratch that. Horrible things DO happen in life. Life isn't easy...it was never supposed to be. But it definitely is worth it and can be wonderful if we choose for it to be. It can be wonderful because of what we fill our lives with and spend our time doing. It is all in our attitude. There's a magnet on my fridge that says, "You do not FIND the happy life, you MAKE it." This is my motto...life IS what you make it. 

It is in the hard times you truly see what you are made of but we are NOT alone and never will be. All we need is to have faith in our Heavenly Father that he truly knows what is best, we must find happiness and beauty in everything around us, we must make the most of life and not take what we have for granted. There truly is so much to be happy about. 

When storms come, which they will, rely on the things that matter most. Put first things first and TRUST that things will always work out if you are doing everything you are supposed to. Find JOY in the journey...that is what leads us to the best destination!

my favorite

Today was a good day. The sun was out. The air was crisp. I could wear a jacket (notice I did not say COATS...there is a difference once snow comes into the picture). AND the trees are finally changing colors. It is finally fall.

Fall is my favorite. and Although, there is NOTHING better then fall in Oregon, Utah can come kinda close sometimes. Happy Tuesday!

Beautiful NieNie

Last Thursday night I had the chance to listen to cute Stephanie Nielson at a BYU fireside. I have been reading her blog for a while now and just have been so touched by her story.


She truly is such an amazing woman who has been through so much and manages to have such a positive outlook on life. You can read of her story here. The love that her and her husband have for each other and their family is truly so special. She is such an example to me and has forever touched my heart!

It's Raining. It's Pouring.

I LOVE rain. Weird to some I know. I blame it on my homeland...Portland Oregon. I love the smell, the look the clouds make in the sky, the puddles it makes EVERYWHERE, the sound it makes against the window and roof...ahhh I just love it all. But usually I am prepared for the rain. I almost always have an umbrella or some kind of jacket "just in case" something were to happen.

Today...I missed the memo of rain showers. My secret of loving rain got out and mother nature decided to POUR...and by pour I mean hurricane Brigham struck Provo this entire day. And I literally mean HURRICANE!

This morning I saw blue sky patches and thought it might be hot so I'll wear a skirt and maybe even ride my bike to school to have a tender little time. But at about noon, the rain began and the wind and the thunder. It was crazy! All I could do was laugh. Especially since I honestlynhave never resembled a drown rat more in my life. I was soaked. My hair, my skirt (it even had mud stains all over it), my shoes...basically I looked like I jumped in a river and rolled in mud.

I may or may not have resembled this poor human at one point too...



Basically it was an eventful rain storm to say the least...but I secretly loved the entire experience. Come what may and love it right?! So prepared or not...I still love the rain but from now on, I'm making sure I always have my umbrella or a poncho handy.

180th Semiannual General Conference

I LOVE conference. These weekends are truly the best out of the year! There is nothing better then having the privilege to listen to amazing leaders of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and be counseled on how to improve our lives.


Living in Utah these past few years has given me the opportunity to go to Conference almost every session since my Freshman year. This year I was able to go to both the Saturday sessions and they were so good! This particular talk by President Uchtdorf was probably my favorite...click here for a little excerpt.

We truly are so blessed! What an amazing conference weekend <3 To watch more conference or to find out more about what we believe visit here.

Happy Tuesday!

let the drummer KICK

Well as you know the month of september is always the beginning of school. I'm not quite sure why they chose the best month of the year to start school because it just makes me want to completely drop out.



I really related to the children in this picture...I feel the exact same way about school right now! This year more than normal I have had absolutely NO motivation for anything. This may be because I am actually an official "senior" which is seriously SO WEIRD!!!

I would have never guessed college would go by so fast. I mean I technically have more than one year of school (obviously...when have I ever known exactly what I want to do with my life??) but it still is so weird to think I have been at BYU for almost FOUR YEARS! It kind of freaks me out some days. It's so crazy to be in this stage in life, in between being a young adult and a real one. You have the comfort of just saying I'm going to school when you don't really have an exact clear plan, but you also have the reality of life flashing in your face every so often that makes you recognize you have to make the most of your time!

So again...I think. A lot. But I just have been pondering how close I am to the end and how I really need to have a plan. I've been so content lately with the fact that all my old plans failed so I haven't REALLY defined a new one. AHHHH! : / It's freaking me out cuz really I would love to just make jewelry, own a floral shop, and write music or something...not go to 4 more years of school to be a physical therapist! So ya that is my head right now...a complete tornado of ideas. Trying to decipher between what I want to do and what I should do...there is quite a difference and I'm trying to find something that involves both!

Anyway this fall has been awesome so far! Probably too much fun cuz it definitely feels like summer still until I look at my planner and see the 4 TESTS I HAVE THIS WEEK!!! The new move was truly what I was supposed to do tho. I miss all my girls at the house so much but I needed the change. Thank goodness I still see the tenders every once in a while! But change truly is necessary sometimes...it is SO hard to do. But when you know it's something you have to do you have to act on it! Well Happy Wednesday...these are all the thoughts I have time to write now! I'll update random events of life soon!

Peace and Love
<3

Thoughts....a BLAST from the PAST

I am a thinker. Always have been, always will be. Not a day goes by where I haven't had a period of time just thinking to myself of life and just randomness.

Today my thoughts went back to a plane ride I experienced a couple months ago on my way to Redding California for our famous family SHASTA TRIP. I had just got done with two weeks of doing EFY in Tacoma Washington and had to fly to Shasta cuz there was NO way I would drive 12 hrs after getting absolutely no sleep all week at EFY. Anyways I probably looked a little homeless and dead with my fluffy, satin red pillow in hand. Naturally this was a great conversation starter. This lady who was standing in front of me complimented it, commented on my look of complete exhaustion and just started talking to me about life. She (Chris) was literally one of those people that could make friends with just about anybody. So we were chatting about books we were reading, our families, our hobbies...we really just spoke until they called our flight in to be seated. And of course by coincidence our seats were right next to each other.

We then talked about her world travels to Africa, India, South America, Australia, Europe...this woman had been literally EVERYWHERE so of course I was drooling listening to all her stories. She just talked and talked about how i just need to GO. The time to travel is now and that it can be done for cheap if you budget wisely. She just kept telling me and telling me how I need to take advantage of this time of my life and learn. She told me these experiences truly shape your life and open your eyes to how other people live. They make you grateful for your circumstances and just how things could always be worse in your life so just have a good attitude and you'll get through anything. AND she told me I looked like a traveler which really made me want to switch flights immediately to Costa Rica or something.

She just was such a pleasant person. Making friends with every one. The lady next to us and her beautiful baby, the old man behind us with a cane who was struggling to walk, the male flight attendant who I'm pretty sure had a secret dream to be a Broadway star because he was VERY dramatic, the little girl who had never been on a plane before...literally everyone around her. I thought to myself I want to be like this woman. She went out of her way to show random people she cared about them. It wasn't anything huge or earth shattering but it made a difference. I saw shy people open up, people with hot tempers cool down, scared children feel at ease...all because of this one darling woman.

It just hit me that day of how often in my life I look at people and think I know what they are like so I just keep to myself. I remember looking at Chris and thinking she was this woman who was rough around the edges, who was unfriendly, and hated the world but with one word she COMPLETELY changed my impression of her and hit me like a ton of bricks how wrong I was about her. She taught me a lot that day and I don't think she even knows it or ever will. I have no way of telling her how much I appreciated my little life lesson from her that day. Her general love of people just literally moved me and made me want to be like her. So from here on out...I will not ever judge. I want to go out of my way to just befriend those around me EVERYONE. I may look weird, I may get a little embarrassed but as Papa James would say...it's better to be looked at as weird and friendly then cold and ignorant. So that is my motto for life...in any aspect. Thank you cute Chris, wherever you are, for your example and literally touching my life that day! <3