I have a CONFESSION....

So oddly after watching the movie, Step Up 2-taking it to the streets....I just really want to be a Gangsta. Yes...I really just said that.



I really forgot how much I LOVE this movie...i'm thinking a big reason why i love it so much may be because my boyfriend is in it.



Ya...he's pretty tender. So what makes me want to be a G? Well let's discuss...
1. They appreciate really good music
2. They know how to dance
3. They talk really REALLY cool
4. They are brave...they don't take crap
5. They LOVE real women bodies...and I was blessed with one haha ugh (this line is dedicated to Liz-hail to hips woman!!)
6. They wear comfy clothes ALL THE TIME
7. AND you get to dance with this beautiful creation...



So basically....don't be surprised if the next time you see me I'll be bustin a move...takin it to the streets...winning every competition...i'll be wearing homie-G pants AND lovin my life. (In reality if I was really was a G and living in the Hood....chances are I'd probably be pregnant too which would not be good). ANYWAYS...watch the movie and you will understand. : )

CHANGE...

"...through every change, He faithful will remain."
-Be Still My Soul-

I have realized lately that I hate change.
It freaks me out.
I hate the unexpected.
I hate leaving behind what I already know is so good.

Change, out of everything in life, makes me really sad sometimes.
Reminiscing old memories, good times with family and friends, and just different stages of life.
Sometimes I just miss old times in my life.
I miss making home videos with my brothers.
I miss having my mom drive me to school every morning.
I miss papa date nights going to the Blazer Games.
I miss picking up Chucks by her neck and always making her be Abu whenever we played Aladin.
I miss waterskiing trips with Shibby.
I miss the crazy dance days with Meggy.
I miss being able to wear pink leopard pants and two buns in my hair and having no one question my fashion statement (maybe they even actually approved of it?)
I miss old vacations with the family.
I miss being able to lay on my dog's bellies whenever I want to.
I miss our old little blue cottage in Portland (that apparently now is Jesus' House according to a sign on the door).
I miss sista extravaganzas.
I miss TCBY nights with my buddies.
I miss singing.
I miss the crazy Oregon ways...that Utah just hasn't and will NEVER pick up.
I miss ALL the people in my life that have touched me in some way just by who they are...I miss seeing them regularly...
I miss A LOT of things...

But it is possible that CHANGE can bring good.
Maybe even MORE GOOD than we think.
We just have to keep telling ourselves that we are blessed to have these good memories instead of being sad they are over.
But it is OK to miss things sometimes.

I'm not depressed everyone...just having one of those sentimental days.
But also one of those days where I truly am grateful.
Grateful for a life so rich and full of beautiful things and people.
Grateful for a life that is full of tender mercies from a loving Heavenly Father who blesses every day.
Grateful for the knowledge of a Savior who saved us, who provided a way for us to have eternal life and live with our Heavenly Father someday. Who lifts our burdens and is always there when we need Him.
Grateful for eternal families and the wonderful one I've been blessed with
Grateful for humor.
Grateful for LIFE.
Grateful HE is in EVERYTHING.

This little excerpt from one of my favorite NEEDTOBREATHE songs, Something Beautiful, explains how we feel sometimes...we just crave something real and lately its just how I've been feeling. I know its coming...

***

In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will you let me drown, will you let me drown?

And the water is rising quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side.

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees.
I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

***



Life is Beautiful... <3

One of the HIGHLIGHTS of my life...YES I already am sure of it!!

The night of Tuesday May 11th might have been one of the most amazing nights of my life!! NEEDTOBREATHE came to Salt Lake City and you could say I stopped breathing almost the entire night. I knew they were going to be good but not THAT good. Their new album the Outsiders came out this last fall and I literally liked EVERY song on the album.



They are a kind of folk/rock band. They have a country vibe but can seriously rock out. It was amazing and we might have killed a few people to stand right in the front. The opening act was also pretty good....Stephen Kellogg and The Sixers. It was just a really fun night full of music and of course all kinds of people. Ya gotta love Salt Lake and the special treasures that are made there.

This song is one of my favorites...Something Beautiful...you might recognize!


I really like EVERY song of theirs except a Girl Named Tennessee....you can't go wrong with any of them. I really was impressed with them as people too. You could tell they were real, genuine and kind people. They were from South Carolina and grew up in strong families where church and a belief in God was important to them. If you really listen to their lyrics you'll be able to recognize in almost every one, they are referring to God and their relationship with Him in some way. They truly are some of the most talented people I have ever seen in concert.



And don't worry now we're on a first name basis with each other...we (Jackie, Amanda, and I) may or may not be driving to Reno, Nevada to see their next concert next week! They were UNREAL!!



This is the main singer Bear and their drummer....



And this is the bass guitarist Seth (who was totally hitting on us...haha) and you can see the other lead singer Bo in the background...they were way nice....seriously one of the best nights of my life!! Music truly is a huge part of my life and every time I go to a concert something happens inside of me. It expresses so much of who I am. AHHH I love it!!! See ya guys in RENO : )

My Beautiful Mother...

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! I always hate being away from my mom on this day but I hope she knows how much I love and appreciate her in my life. She truly is the most beautiful person I know on the inside and the outside. I love her with all my heart and owe so much of who I am to her. Her example constantly makes me want to be better and I am so grateful for her in my life.

In this last General Conference, M. Russel Ballard gave a talk on Mothers and Daughters. You can view this complete talk here. One quote that stuck out to me especially was,

"Please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow. Model yourselves after them, not after celebrities whose standards are not the Lord’s standards and whose values may not reflect an eternal perspective. Look to your mother. Learn from her strengths, her courage, and her faithfulness...when it comes to matters of the heart and the things of the Lord, she has a wealth of knowledge. As you approach the time for marriage and young motherhood, she will be your greatest source of wisdom. No other person on earth loves you in the same way or is willing to sacrifice as much to encourage you and help you find happiness—in this life and forever. Love your mother, my young sisters. Respect her. Listen to her. Trust her. She has your best interests at heart."

So Happy Mothers Day to all moms and especially my cute Mama!! I love her so very much and am so very grateful that she is also one of my best friends : )

feelin a little LOVE for my babies....

So today i woke up and thought I REALLY want a dog. I know I have some at home but I NEED one here i Provo. I realized that pets...DOGS primarily fill a spot in my heart that can't easily be replaced. CHEESY I know but it's how I feel ok. So this morning I decided to look through some old photos and naturally my sister and I both have an album dedicated to our pets...normal right?? We like to document their lives too ha. But I just wanted to share some pictures on here that I found so the one person who may read this blog (my mom) can enjoy how cute they are : )

MY HORSES

These are some of our horses Shadow and April (2/4)...I wish I could say I ride them every saturday and that I trained them myself but unfortunately I just enjoy petting them and occasionally riding them whenever papa james goes trail-riding. I did get to see them be born which was amazing...they truly are beautiful animals!!

MY CAT AKA BUM (she's no longer with us)

This tender creature was my prize/gift when I stopped "sucking my thumb". My dad created his own retainer especially for thumb-suckers that had this metal thing that would pinch your thumb whenever you tried sucking. BRUTAL??? I know...but am i now grateful...yes. I'd probably still be sucking my thumb. We picked her up at the provo walmart on a vacation to utah and got to bond with her for 12 hrs in the car ride home.

You could say we had a love-hate relationship. Probably because we dressed her up a lot...

Luckily Jackie was her saving grace...this picture secretly kinda creeps me out but makes me laugh at the same time...

Sadly...callie (her real name but we always called her bum cuz she was the laziest thing of life!!) got hit by a car when I left for school. I say she tried following me to college cuz she couldn't stand me not being there but in reality I think she saw something she wanted to eat and didn't realize she was in the road about to get smashed. It was a sad day tho. She was a pretty crusty cat but she had her tender moments. As Jackie would always say....whenever she cried callie would always be there to lick her tears haha.

MY PUPPIES

Now these cuties are my favorite. I will admit it. I can't express how much i love these two dogs!! Everyone who knows me will tell you how much I love my dogs ha. So the darker one is Laycee...we got her when I was in 7th grade when our cute dog Toby died. The lighter one is Lester...he is Laycee's son when she had puppies...

This is our family picture with her TEN PUPPIES! 3 boys and 7 girls. All of them lived and we got to see them all be born! It really was one of the funnest memories of my life. They were pretty messy and stinky but SO CUTE! So of course we had to keep one of them...

Originally his nickname was "medium" because he was the middle sized male puppy. We weren't planning on keeping him for the longest time but decided he was the cutest in the end. Lester has a couple nicknames that we call him...the first one is pretty obvious where it came from. It's MO....as in MO-LESTER. Lets just say he doesn't know the meaning of personal space. The second one is Moses. I don't really know where this came from but it just stuck.

SO CUTE!!

Laycee also has a nickname....MARIA...again don't really know where it came from but we like it.

She isn't really allowed in the family room but sometimes we can't get mad at her when she looks as cute and innocent as this.

I LOVE MY PETS!!!!


This may be the creepiest blog post you ever read but I had to give a little shout out to my pets. Sometimes I just have to write out tender thoughts : )

My Little Stars...

This past week i got to go home and watch my brothers perform in their school's play, Beauty and The Beast. They had been working on this for quite a while and it was so fun to see the progress they made. And they both were casted as pretty major roles...The Beast (AKA Clarke) and Gaston (AKA Alec).









They did such a good job!! I honestly was so impressed!! My cute mama helps choreograph and is an assistant director so she will love having some extra time on her hands since its over but this kind of stuff truly is a dream for her. She did great!



We love our FUTURE Broadway Stars!!!

Another year has gone by...

So yesterday was my day of birth...its true.

Birthdays are always a little surreal to me. Especially this one....the big 21.

Growing up as kids we cannot wait for our birthdays to come around. Its like with each year our level of "coolness" goes up. All through middle school you CANNOT wait to be in high school. To be all grown up and mature. You actually WANT people to tell you that you look older. But its weird to finally hit an age where you truly wish for time to SLOW DOWN. I never thought it would feel this weird. Time is a strange thing when you really think about it. It is constantly changing and you can NEVER get it back. I am definitely someone who is too attached to it. I diagnose myself with SENTIMENTALITY...i find myself more than ever reminiscing the past, the good times I have had and missing them. But when I'm having these moments I always think of the saying, "Don't be SAD its over...be GRATEFUL it even happened."

So that was my birthday thought yesterday...be GRATEFUL. Be grateful for everything in life because we never know when we won't have it anymore. Love the things you do have in your life. Don't dwell on the things we used to have or wish we had...we will never find happiness in that. We have to put our trust in the gospel and our Heavenly Father and Savior jesus Christ and just love all that we have. That's what I personally want to work on this year. I am grateful for another birthday ha and the chance to keep improving. Here are some inspiring words to reflect on from the Book of Mormon...my sistas will appreciate this. they always love these : )

2 Nephi 31:20-
Wherefore ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore if ye shall press forward feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold thus saith the Father: ye shall have eternal life.

ANOTHER YEAR HAS GONE BY....Happy Birthday to me : )
Here's a creepy picture given to me by my sista...she is a CHESTER!!